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Sunday, July 10, 2005

Of Bangkok Trips

Well the entire trip began pretty early.

It was a 8.30AM flight out of Kuala Lumpur and so we were at the airport two hours earlier to wait for Joon Han and Ah Soon. Whilst waiting for them, me and Bak (who followed me to the airport) took a quick nip at KLIA’s one and only McDonalds.

I was having this craving for French fries and decided upon a McValue Fillet O’fish set but was told that it was too early and they only had their stupid breakfast sets. What the hell is a McMuffin? Tasted like dried up sponges left in the freezer and defrosted for consumers.

Flight was uneventful. Did not sit next to a beautiful girl, but on a happier note, I got all 4 seats in a row to myself. Touchdown in Bangkok International Airport. POOF The next thing I knew, we were at the bakery which we were working for. Client wasn’t around so we checked into our hotel THE FIRST HOTEL which was about RM180 a night!

Spent the day goofing of until the next day. Left the hotel early and rushed to the bakery again.Actually started work today, Their public transport system is pretty decent! Took a train to Ngamwongwan district and from there took a cab to our destination.

Ah Soon worked on his product design and I worked on my postcard illustrations. Joon Han started to experiment with his lime juice drink which he plans to introduce to Thailand and Bak fiddled with his camera.

Worked through the day until night finally came…

Phat Phong, a part of Bangkok’s infamous Red-light district. We were all there on the second day

It pretty much resembled Hong Kong’s “Lui-yan kai” or a typical Pasar Malam back home in Malaysia. Everything ranging from T-shirts to DVDs to knick-knacks and accessories were to be purchased from the many various stalls lining the streets!. But that sort of stuff is boring, … on to the fancy parts!

As we took our first steps into the throng of people, we were instantly assailed by bustler yelling “Sir, Sir! You want see Pussy? Super Pussy?” It was hilarious! This happened ALL the way down the street, we would be approached with offers ranging from exclusive Thai girl Ping-pong shows to Banana shows. I personally wonder what the hell a Ping-Pong show would be like. My rampant imagination ran off for a moment here and totally obscene images floated to the surface of my often perverse mind.

I mean, what else could one do with ping-pong balls and a vagina? Bak on the other hand was sorely tempted. Every bustler seemed to converge onto Bak like flies to a smelly lump of poo. This could either be because Joon Han kept pointing to Bak or the fact that Bak has been trying to grow a Goatee/Mustache which is REALLY humsup. He looks like a very dark dirty old man. Chinese people should never try to grow facial hair, especially if it makes them look grubby and unclean. I’ve tried it myself once, but after looking like a Bum that just found his way out of the Long-kang, I shaved the lot off.

Finally a bustler managed to win Bak over with a free offer. He can go up for free, just to look at the “wares”. Thai dancing girls,… WOW. Anyways he wanted to go up but for some bloody reason he insisted I go up with him. Personally I don’t really like the idea of selling one’s body but this was Bak’s first time overseas and he has never seen boobies. So up the both of us went while Joon Han and Ah Soon stood downstairs with knowing grins on their smug faces.

We went past bouncers, hostesses, all which greeted us with the traditional “Sa Wa Dee Kap!” as we were ushered into a dark room with roaring music. Instantly hostesses rushed to us and pointed at tables gibbering in Thai. Being the eloquent linguist I was, I parried off all offers with a polite “Mai Chai” Which according to a Thai friend means “no” If Anthony did indeed lie to me, I will kill him the next time I see him.

Bak on the other hand started to panic in the room. The mixture of naked women and loud music and hostesses rushing to him must have shocked his guts out because when I turned to ask him if he wanted to stay, all he could shout was “PHIET!” Which in Cantonese is the rough equivalent of “Lets get the fuck out of here!” His facial expression was priceless at that moment. I’m guessing he probably has to wash his underwear later or something.

We left the establishment with me laughing my ass off at Bak. I am a bastard. Bwahahaha.

Well, as said earlier, the rest of the street was filled with other totally cool stuff. Surprisingly Han said most of the DVDs come from Malaysia as we ARE the regions largest exporter of pirated mediums. I wasn’t sure whether it was proper of me, but I felt a temporary surge of nationalistic pride. WOW! The largest pirates around!... How cool is that?

I ended the day going back to the hotel earlier as I had some work to do before showing the client the following morning. Bak and Ah Soon went to look for a Thai Massage. They only got back at 5.00am or so and judging from their faces, they seemed to have went to the wrong Thai Massage ^^ (if you know what I mean) What actually happened I don’t know and don’t feel like asking, but would have made a good story though.

Lets just assume they got sexual offers or they went to a Transvestite massage parlour. (Edit: They didn't get a massage and instead went to a Cyber-Cafe)

The stupid business-men from China are making a racket outside the room as I write this early in the morning. I laugh at their earlier efforts at communicating with Thai women as I passed them in the lobby earlier in the evening.


More Later..

4 Comments:

  • "Chinese people should never try to grow facial hair, especially if it makes them look grubby and unclean"

    - Two negatives make a positive. Bak is already grubby and unclean looking. Never hurts in trying...hahaha!!!

    Oh... Mai Jai which sounds like Mai Chai means "I'm a gay bastard"*

    Reminds me of the time when I was in Bali. I was hounded by men trying to sell me "Ayam". The one that really got me shocked was: "Ayam Kotor" and "Ayam Kecik Kotor"

    Until today, I'm trying to figure it out.

    * kidding

    By Blogger the minifig, at 6:15 AM  

  • Wah lau! So fast holiday in Thailand ar. Abit the too much money right you all. LoL!

    By Blogger Danny, at 10:17 AM  

  • ask bak to go for a testicular massage. it really helps. have i done it? sure i have.it's the next best thing besides u wanna see bak wet his pants,right?

    legoman: ayam kotor and ayam kecik kotor? i tell u the meaning in person.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:43 AM  

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